What Do I Do Now?

Hi!
This is dedicated to one of my very best friends and my little sister. Love you sis. 
May this make you think,
Jen
My friend asks me, "So what do I do now?"

And I pause in my texting, and think for a moment. And all of a sudden I am typing with words coming from no where, and I can't stop typing. And I realize that I am not texting my friend. God is. These blogs that seemingly come from no where to help and inspire you are not me speaking to you at all. They are God speaking through me.

So this is my response. "Oh Tanya, my little tigress, God is so great. And once you can let Him take control, the ride is easier to handle. Why does God perform miracles? He gives them to me everyday. We have new mercies every day. I ask God for a purpose, and He gives me one, right here. Right here. My writing skills? To inspire others. He gave me a gift to see into the minds and hearts of others to tell them what they need to hear. Tanya, we have little miracles, that lost book now found, that one paper missing, that man who randomly pays for your English report and walks out right after.* God is right here, in these very words: I am not speaking to you, God is. The words at the tip of my tongue that I thought were for Chase were not, they were for you. He is here, just bask in His love. And you will realize that that is all you need."

"Thanks Jenny."

"I didn't say a word."

And it's true. I did not say a word. God did. Words, thoughts, feelings, insight into people's hearts, that's what I was given.

"Thank you."

"No, I really dont think I was answering you at all, I truly think that God was giving you a miracle, because when you say that, I can't stop the ideas and words and emotions that flow out of me. An unending love that is so deep pours out of me. So in reality, your best friend, is God speaking to you."

And of course, she has to be sarcastic. "Well then thanks God."

I made sure she was just being sarcastic, and then I realized something. "I have never really written stuff like this before and I honestly think it was because I wasn't letting God give me what I needed to say. I was saying no to a gift."

I think she thought it went along with the previous statement so I added on. "I told you. That before when my writing wasn't good and I had nothing to do with my mind, I just let my potential fall. When I finally truly accepted who Christ was, and realized the fact that I get lost, A LOT, I realized that I had been saying "NO!" to a gift from God."

She was quiet for a moment but then asked. "Jen, do you think my writing was a gift from God? I mean I know it's from God but do you think I'm meant to use it how you use it or a different way?"

I had no idea what to say, and in that weak moment, God answered again. "Tanya, I'm gonna come right out and say it. Yes. You are incredibly dramatic, and you have a grasp of emotions much better than I do. So the fact that your writing stirs up emotions, that in itself is making use of what you have been given.

I don't know what you are meant to do. Maybe you are meant to write a play that changes the writing style. I don't know. But I do know one thing, as long as you are walking with Christ, God's plan for your life is going to take off. And it is going to be fantastic.

T, you are a gift from God. Right here, right now. And you wanna know how I know? When you told me that you wanted to be a better Christian, I almost wept for pure joy. Because that was what it was all about."

This was the conclusion of the text messages, but I want to explain the last part before I head off to bed. A little bit ago, she had sent me some texts about the blog entries I had recently posted and the one that made me weep was the one that said it "made me want to be a better Christian".

So I dedicate this to her, and to all those who are struggling to find their purpose. May you all be blessed. And may this make you think,
Jen
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*This actually happened. Each of them did. And to that man, thank you so much. Saved me, he did.